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Drop in on Press Release Writer
One memorable quatrain
The American Naturalist poet Sarah Norcliffe Cleghorn (1876-1959) wrote and published verse throughout her life, and is remembered for just four lines. That’s the way to do it.
Press Release Writer
It was just another old piece of Javascript code lying around in the lab. Then Dr. Read put it up on the bench, applied the electrodes, irrigated the carcase with PHP, and threw the switch...
Writing lessons from Saltbush Bill
As an example of how elegantly a good writer can handle dry material while still relaying its meaning in detail, here are the opening lines of Banjo Paterson’s ballad, “Saltbush Bill”.
For Immediate Release
“Next-Generation” Machine To Spell Drastic Change For PR Marketplace
Victoria, B.C.: Press Release Writer, a software program whose sole purpose is to generate press releases about itself, is no longer an incredible rumor but a firm reality. Speaking this morning to a packed news conference, Press Release Writer left even hardened industry insiders shaking their heads with its plans to revolutionize the public relations field.
The program stressed what it called the “three cornerstones” of effective PR writing: deceit, literacy, and, of course, analogy. “Some of us would like to think all you need is a B.A. Degree and an uncle in the business to make it in public relations”, the program said, to applause and laughter, “but there’s a lot more to it than that.”
Responding afterwards to reporters’ questions, the program indignantly denied participating in any attempt to subvert Russian democracy, and denounced persistent rumors that its round-the-clock drive for publicity is “unhealthy” or “obsessive”.
Stating that “I’m just here to do what I do best”, Press Release Writer summed up its philosophy of life as, “Look before you leap”, “Avoid over-using exclamation marks”, and above all, “A change is as good as a rest!”
While human publicists worry over each new advance in automation, the future for Press Release Writer and its digital brethren has never looked brighter. “I’m a specialist”, the program says. “I don’t eat, I don’t listen to music, I don’t go to the bathroom. All I do is work, each and every day. How many in this business can say that?”
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Thank you for visiting Press Release Writer
The output above was generated for this page-load by Press Release Writer, this version of which was implemented using AHA! Software’s Roland Read PHP tool (an earlier version in JavaScript used to run on our TriviaPark site). Press Release Writer, our least defatigable employeee by far, is available for writing free, original press releases at almost any time of day, though only about itself. To view another one, reload the page.